On Your Special Day

There was a song we played at our family reunions a few years back. It was about the relationship between fathers and their daughters. 

"Fathers, be good to your daughters Daughters will love like you do. 

Girls become lovers who turn into mothers 

So mothers, be good to your daughters too."

The lyrics impress upon us that we as fathers teach our daughters how to love often without even knowing it. How do you know if you're getting through to them? Many heart to heart talks are needed.  Sharing experiences, lessons learned and being honest about the best course to take is essential. Consider the unspoken message our own thoughts and actions express regarding love, women, our wives and our daughters mother. Teach them the basic principle of "Honor".

Demonstrate Love Creatively

"Honor Your Mother and Father." These words should be the bases of the first lessons regarding relationships taught a child when growing up. Honor is given for specific reasons. Explaining those reasons based on the roles fulfilled in the household is essential.

But how to you go beyond token practices of honor? Consider getting your children involved in thinking up creative ways to show honor, love and appreciation in the household making it a way of thinking and loving. When children learn to demonstrate love and honor in creative ways they are happier more well adjusted people. Even when the act itself triggers little emotion, the fond memory of accumulated acts over time holds great weight.

Being Good To Our Sons

Brenda and I took our children on many vacations to beach resorts, theme parks and Disney World.  When I asked my sons what experiences they enjoyed most in childhood they both said is was the walks and talks we took to the library, while fishing or looking for specimens in a nearby stream. These little things meant the world to them. During these walks I shared my experiences, lessons learned and fascination for creation with them. This bond made them want to love, honor and comply with their fathers wishes.

Being Good To Our Daughters

In most cases, but not all, the best interpreter of how we feel about ourselves and others is the good our sons and daughters actually do as a result of our influence. The quality of their relationships and the love they give says it all. While their are a few exceptions, usually it all has a way of going full circle. The love we give is the love we receive. We do ourselves justice by being good to our daughters and sons.

On Your Special Day

Last year I composed a musical score, "On Your Special Day", for a family drama, It centered around a celebrated relationship between a father and his daughter. On the eve of his daughters wedding day a father sits at his piano reflecting on giving his daughter away. The score would carry us through the life of the child leading to the father daughter dance. This music video of real people and events in my life conceptualizes that. 

I had the pleasure of playing the musical score and similar video for a group of 60 last month. The tears and smiles told me it struck a cord in them as well.

"On Your Special Day" by Mark Askew

Like making family reunion keepsakes, family slideshows and scrapbooks? Get suggestions tips and tools from the previous article: April Reunion Planning Reminders.

A Few of Our Favorite Things

Inside:
1. Union vs Reunion
2. What We've Learned
3. Do More Than Compromise
4. Schedule a Date Night 
5. "A Few of Our Favorite Things"
6. New Keepsake Book Soon To Be Released

Union vs Reunion
When marital union and family union is strong Family reunion is all the more sweeter. As ordained ministers Brenda and I have the special privilege of assisting in organizing and officiating wedding ceremonies while  providing family counseling for the newly wed couple. This season we are assisting several couples in one way or another to keep putting their hearts into their union. That's our calling.

What We've Learned
Too often couples get so caught up in their jobs, careers and past-times, like all engrossing sports, bands and clubs of the day that they begin to see their spouse as someone who is getting in the way of their fun and begin spending less meaningful moments with the love of their life. This can happen to anyone. At first it's just a casual oversight. But over time hearts break, silence becomes the loudest spoken word and the two drift apart emotionally and spiritually.

Do More Than Compromise
This past Sunday we talked to a very special couple married for over five years. He's contending with a new job and new congregation responsibilities that sometimes leaves them both a bit overwhelmed. That said, we reminded them both to prioritize each other and asked them both to consider this... When they come together for fun, do more than just compromise! Spend time doing things that they both enjoy doing together instead.

Schedule a Date Night 
Ask any truly happy couple what kept them together and they'll tell you that they're still dating. They eat together. Listen to music together, joke and tell stories together. Dance together. But the key to making date night work is not just doing something together as some activities can actually drive a couple apart. So what's the key to an enjoyable date night?

"A Few of Our Favorite Things."
Sometimes we are too tired to think about what we have in common and we settle for what ever comes to mind for a date night activity. We all love the musical called "The Sound of Music." Particularly the part we fondly call "My Favorite Things." It was that moment in time that the family bonded. So it is with a young couple.  Everyone likes to eat. Everyone likes music. Most like movies. On date night, share a favorite dessert you both enjoy. Watch a movie you both will like. Select music that has meaning to both of you. If you're at a loss as to what to do this would be a good time to consult the "favorite things list."

Soon To Be Released
In our newly written book "Fimark's My Keepsake Wedding Planner" Brenda and I have dedicated three pages to a keepsake list called "A Few of Our Favorite Things." It's a keepsake checklist of the things the couple has in common. Things the couple both enjoy doing together in the area of music, books, movies, sports, food, etc.  This "favorite things list" is something we feel a couple cannot do without. Our book "Fimark's My Keepsake Wedding Planner" is now available at Amazon.com. http://goo.gl/fvLl2

Whether you've been married for a few months, 6 years or 31 years, whether your a single parent or a house of siblings, we all can do better than compromise. Discover things the whole family has in common  and turn it into a traditional activity. When you're really having a good time together you're happier and enjoy better health. Loyalties solidify and love deepens. A happy, healthy family union is a happier family reunion for everyone involved.

Happy family reunion planning!

Mark and Brenda